Six Qualities a Man in India Expects From His Wife

A woman of worth is the crown of her husband,
but a disgraceful one is like rot in his bones.
- Proverbs 12:4

The presence of near and dear ones, reception parties – large or small, and honeymoons, etc., most certainly enhance the pleasures of the occasion and the joy of a wedding.

But what is the ultimate goal of a marriage from a man’s viewpoint?

Universally, all men wish for a perfect wife. But what does one mean by a “perfect wife”? What are the qualities needed to be an ideal spouse? Many women do not know about it though most of the qualities of a perfect wife are already built into them and develops as she grows up.

In India, Neeti Saara or Neeti Sastra is a popular collection of morals written by Baddena, a 13th century Telugu poet, believed to be a Chola prince named Bhadra Bhupala.

Baddena sums the six noble virtues an ideal wife should have in a verse as:

‘కార్యేషు దాసి, కరణేషు మంత్రి, భోజ్యేషు మాతా, రూపేచ లక్ష్మీ, శయనేషు రంభ, క్షమయా ధరిత్రీ… and so on.

‘Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni’

Translation:

Karyeshu Dasi: work like a maidservant.

Karaneshu Mantri: advice like a minister.

Bhojeshu Mata: feed like a mother.

Shayaneshu Ramba: please in bed like Rambha.

Roopeshu Lakshmi: look beautiful like Goddess Lakshmi.

Kshmayeshu Dharitri: be patient like Earth.

Shat dharma yuktah Kula dharma Patni: A woman who has these six virtues is a good housewife.

Be a maidservant	Give advice	Feed like a mother
Please in bed	Look beautiful	Be patient

In short, a good housewife should serve her husband like a maidservant; counsel him like a minister to deal with various problems that confront him; feed him like a mother; please him in bed as a courtesan like the heavenly seductress Rambha, unrivalled in the art of making love; maintain her beauty like Goddess Lakshmi; be patient and endure like Mother Earth.

This indeed is a tall order! I do not think any woman in the 21st century would qualify as a perfect wife by meeting these six criteria.

In this age of sex equality, the women argue that these verses were written by a man and so are chauvinistic. What will happen if a woman expects the following six qualities in a man?

Bhogeshu Raja: Rich like a king.

Vachaneshu Rama: Honest like Lord Rama.

Chaturasya Krishna: Intellectually smart like Lord Krishna.

Dhairyeshu Karna: Courageous like Karna.

Roopecha Indra: Handsome like Lord Indra.

Kaameshu Madana: Romantic like Madana Kamaraja.

Shatdharmayuktha manadharma Ramana: A man who has these six virtues is the dear husband.